“A large cross bird was looking at Richard and Richard was looking at a large cross bird. Richard was looking at the bird as if it was the most extraordinary thing he had ever seen in his life, and the bird was looking at Richard as if defying him to find its beak even remotely funny.”—
Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
Being friend-zones is like sitting in front of a chef as he creates a delicious pie for you. Then, at the last minute, he decides that you can't have the pie, so you sit there and stare at it. The longer you stay, the hungrier you get and the more delicious it looks, but still you cannot touch it. Even worse is the fact that multiple other guys are allowed to walk up and stick their fingers in the pie, taking piece after piece of what you thought was once to be yours. You know you should leave and forget about the pie, find something else to eat, but nothing could fill the hole in the pit of your stomach like that pie, so you hold onto hope that one day you'll at least get a taste.
There’s been quite a number of you in store lately, putting poems in books. I know a lot of you ninja in and think we don’t notice, but we do. And I imagine you’re probably disappointed to come back and find the little bits and pieces you’ve left behind have been removed.
Why are you scared of all our spiders and snakes? They’re pretty easy to avoid, easier still to kill. Why are you pants moisteningly terrified of all our sharks and crocodiles? You’d have to go out of your way to encounter them, and you’d have to have some pretty terrible luck to encounter them.
Even the most seasoned Australian bush-walked will cower at the sight of. Our most feared creature is something you have probably never heard of. Something you can barely imagine.